3 LP's, 2 books, 1 movie

plus Raquel Goes Rogue

It’s supposed to snow this weekend, later today. I went grocery shopping yesterday and got a frozen pizza, Snickers ice cream bars, cookies, milk, chicken thighs, onions, portabella mushrooms, jasmine rice, iced coffee, linguine, white clam sauce, Romano cheese, Velveeta shells and cheese, and, um, apples. Enough food for two, for four days, even though this storm will probably last less than 24 hours. I’m not hungry at the moment but the second I am god damn it, I am having cookies and milk. Snacking on snowy day is absolute bliss.

This week’s been good. January and reset. I started pilates, and in my last post I talked about needing to do hip opener? Not according to my new pilates instructor. She told me my hips were great. Very flexible. And when I told her I didn’t think I was in very good shape she said we tell ourselves a lot of things that aren’t true and with that I thought, ok I like her. I like Cathy.

I’ve also had my morning routine back the way I am used to, since Steve is back to work after 3.5 months off. Morning pages, meditation, a walk.

Instead of podcasts I’ve been listening to music. I fucking love Taylor Swift but I can’t only listen to Taylor Swift. This week I have played:

A Moon Shaped Pool | Radiohead

This was basically excellent. I think it’s their most recent record, I never played it before, but it was beautiful, ethereal, echo-y. I watched the new Dave Chappelle special on Netflix and it opened with a song from this record, so, yeah, I played it all on my walk through the cedars and fell hard.

Devandra Banhart | Flying Wig

I haven’t listened to DB in years. This was good. A good walking record. I tried to listen to another record today in the car (The Hood by KMD) and I couldn’t— I need to be walking. DB’s voice always gets me, he sounds like he just finished crying and I love that.

Blood Orange | Cupid Deluxe

This was sensational. The opening track has a Dawn Richard feature, and she is my song bird. Anyway this entire record is great, and new favorite. It sounds like Miguel meets Prince, it’s melancholic and poppy and deep.

I’ve been reading.

Well, okay so my poetry workshop (led by Ben Fama, who, is currently a huge inspiration to me, he is such a thought provoking, inclusive, gentle, yet edgy artist and I really, really love learning from him) ended in December but I am taking the January session, too. And I’ve been reading a ton of poetry.

Frank: Sonnets | by Diane Seuss

I bought this randomly, what a gift. It’s incredible, every page has pain, beauty and guts scrawled all over it. It’s raw and tender and perfect. I am only 1/3 of the way through and I am going slow.

The Custom of the Country | Edith Wharton

I heard Sofia Coppola was writing a tv series adapting this novel and HBO scrapped it. I looked it up, bought it. Apparently the ‘custom’ of the country is divorce— the novel’s main character is spoiled, ruthless, ‘unlikable’ (yawn), willing to do anything to get what she wants (money, status). I like, and prefer, unlikable characters especially women and absolutely cannot stand anyone disliking a novel over a character being unlikable. I’m loving this so far.

My friend Katie asked me to watch this movie so we could talk about it.

Past Lives | Celine Song

I was scared when this started it would be too on the nose for me— I think cinema, for the most part, has been really lame for the last decade or so, and identity politics is woven so strongly throughout so many shitty movies that they are unwatchable, but that was not the case here. Wait— my opinion is for American cinema, and I assume this is a foreign film (I just googled it, it’s not, it’s an American film, sorry).

Anyway, this movie kicked me in the heart. The opening shot with the voice over was not needed. We didn’t need the voice over. But, that could be my only complaint.

This movie is about best friends, loss, destiny, regret, choice, honoring the past, and the Korean concept of “in-yun”, the karmic bringing together of people who were lovers in past lives. It was so smart, and sad.

I couldn’t help but think of two of my ex’s who are no longer alive, and what other plane we existed on together. Or Steve. Who he and I are to each other in different realms.

TV was finally back this week, and while Southern Charm was good (Shep is my MVP this season, who would have thought?) and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was also good (Denise Richards is such a flop and I am fully back on the Erika Jayne train) the absolute standout was Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’s season 4 finale.

Obviously— these bitches.

the incomparable meredith marks, lisa barlow, whitney rose, and heather gay

Background if you don’t know. So this was the finale episode of the season, a season where a new cast member named Monica Garcia joined. Monica apparently, prior to joining the show, was friends and employed by former cast member Jen Shah (a woman now serving a federal prison sentence for defrauding the elderly of millions of dollars— yes, a Bravo cast member! Theresa Guidice who?). Monica then testified against Jen, put her away, and joined this show. Prior to joining the show, she ran a troll Instagram account harassing the cast members. For years! She is evening sueing a cast member under a fake name.

Imagine being on a TV show and finding out a woman you filmed with for months, who you were on vacation with, was the mastermind behind a Real Housewives fan account that taunted you. And she was suing your business. And you found out in real time. On camera!

It was shot like an A24 movie, the tension, the drama, the tracking shots. Iconic.

Okay a few more things.

So my unwavering support of Raquel Leviss continues.

I will be listening to Rachel Goes Rogue, I don’t think the podcast name is that terrible, I am excited to hear what she has to say, I don’t have any expectations for Raquel should be on her path. I equate her to Megan Fox, Marilyn Monroe, Monica Lewinsky, Anna Nicole Smith. Think what you want of me, I don’t care. I have been Raquel before in a former version of my life, just nowhere near as skinny. She is more compelling than any current cast member

And anyway. I would like to post here more but I psych myself out. Perfectionism is so stupid, like, I think if I can’t keep up a routine regularly here there’s no point. Meanwhile more than half the newsletters I read are sporadic, the ones that are regimented sometimes feel very thin and lacking of substance, and honestly, who gives a shit. I do.

I’m considering using this Substack to recap what will probably be the last season of Vanderpump Rules. Okay I doubt it will be the last season, that’s just what I tell myself so I can prepare to be put out of my misery with this cast.

But anyway, thinking about it. So watch this space.

And I got hungry. But I didn’t eat milk and cookies. I went with the Velvetta shells and cheese. The key is so add a splash of whole milk, so it’s less sticky. More velvetty.