Record of Coincidence

A few weeks ago in June, I parked my car on Valley Road and walked a block and a half south, I was going into a meeting. As I passed by the hedges lining the lawn of St. James Church, a guy named Jeff popped into my head, inexplicably. Jeff was someone I knew, barely, years ago. Maybe 9 years ago. He was thin, had shoulder length mouse brown hair he wore in a low pony, and had wire rim glasses. He always looked kind of tweaked, nervous, and I don’t know why I thought of him, I just did.

I asked my husband about him that night, where’d that guy Jeff go? Steve thought he died awhile back. And maybe that’s why we never saw him.

The next Saturday I was sitting in a meeting, and in walked Jeff. I swear, it was Jeff. I pointed him out to Steve and said no, that’s someone else. But it wasn’t. He scurried off after the meeting, and that was that, until I saw him again the following Saturday. I waved to him once the meeting was over and he waved back, and as I walked by him as I was putting my chair away I said, hey Jeff good to see you. And he said yeah you too.

Earlier this year, in January, I deactivated Instagram. I wanted to shut off all the distractions I could and instead try to tune into whatever’s going on with me— I probably have a existential crisis of where is my life going style dread every 18 months. I decided to get offline, and write down every single coincidence I encountered in one of the many notebooks I buy and somehow never write in.

Here is the list of coincidences:

1. Realized I owed K.P. an amends from 1992, it took me thirty one years to realize I harmed this girl. I’d googled her many times over the last few decades and she has no online record. But the day I had this realization I googled her again and there was. Living in South Carolina. I also found her Tik Tok. There she was.

2. I thought one day in February, I want to find an energy worker. The next day the Perfectly Imperfect substack showcased some girl who suggested this energy worker in Brooklyn who I have seen twice now, and really enjoy.

3. I was hired to edit a friend’s novel and I quoted her a price ($4 a page if you’re curious) and the sum turned out to be the exact price of a Taylor Swift ticket I’d been eyeing for May at MetLife stadium (I edited the book and bought the ticket, a gift to myself)

4. Asked Steve randomly ‘whatever happened to that big guy Pat?’ who we used to know, barely, back in the day. 2-3 days later he walked into a meeting and I saw him for the first time in years.

5. This is ridiculous, but I mentioned to a friend I wanted a cleaning lady and someone who overheard us recommended me theirs.

6. In Early April I thought ‘I should watch 30 Rock’ and later that day Anti-Hero was on my radio and Lily told me she learned the ‘sexy baby’ was a reference to ‘a show called 30 Rock’

7. April 14th- Steve and I both sang out loud ‘didn’t I blow your mind this time’ at the same time when the song wasn’t even playing

8. I was listening to the Sexy Unique Podcast and something they said reminded me of ‘spin spin sugar’ by the sneaker pimps and that same day in the comments section of the Patreon someone brought up the sneaker pimps.

9. Heard the phrase ‘kick the can down the road’ 3 x in one week

At this point, Scandoval has happened and I’m back on Instagram for awhile now. The coincidences lessen.

10. I am reading Bud Smith’s substack where he asked people to comment on great ‘hang out novels’ and I went to comment that the book Girl by Blake Nelson is a great example and the last person to comment on Bud’s substack, the person I was posting under, was Blake fucking Nelson! He was recommending his novel Girl! I almost died.

11. Heard Bret Easton Ellis say ‘Chandler’ (in reference to Raymond) as I walked by a cemetery and the first headstone I read as Bret said ‘Chandler’ also said… Chandler!

12. Thought about why I hadn’t seen Warren Zanes in awhile and then the next day Bret Easton Ellis— again— mentioned Warren’s new book about Bruce Springsteen.

13. Thought of Jeff. Saw Jeff.

14. A ‘random’ quote from the show True Blood popped in my head do you want a peanut butter and butter sandwich? The next day at breakfast Sam told the table her dad ate peanut butter and butter sandwiches.

This morning I checked Instagram at least 4 times in the middle of my doing my morning pages, which is total bullshit. The apps days are numbered yet again. Not that I have any more of an idea of where my life is going right now. If anything, I feel like the universe is nudging me to stop trying to figure it out.